Anna and Troy’s Weblog

Wednesday July 1, 2009

Dear Emerson:

FIVE MONTHS

I can’t believe that you are already five months old.  It seems like you are growing up faster and faster every day.  Just in the past week you have become so much more gregarious and animated. The following list details some of your noteworthy life accomplishments thus far:

EXERSAUCER:

You have begun really PLAYING with your toys. That is, if we can define “playing” as “the act of grabbing on to objects, banging them around, and trying to shove them into your mouth in such a way as to deposit the MAXIMUM amount of baby slime onto said object.”  You love your Exersaucer.  An Exersaucer is like toy crack for infants, the pure definition of gratuitous excess as it applies to persons under the age of one.  Imagine an oversized lifesaver…..then imagine that Disney Land AND Candy Land threw up all over it….next imagine that it requires EIGHTEEN batteries to operate this “Land” of wonder and excitement…..and you are getting pretty close to the “essence of the Exersaucer.”  You are currently trying to figure out how to put EVERY part of the Exersaucer in your mouth……even if it is much too far away to reach your mouth or far too big to ever fit.  We will see how you do.  Just for the record, I am putting all of my money on you; the Exersaucer doesn’t stand a chance.

SNAGLETOOTH:

Thanks to a surprise gift bestowed on us by Baeten genetics, you have treated us all with the joy of early teething! You have one little tooth and it is really out now. Despite the tragedy that brought it to us, it is undeniably adorable. You can see it when you smile, and you can DEFINITELY feel it when you chomp down, especially if that happens to be when you are nursing. This is a topic that needs some further discussion……there are some ground rules that need to be set…..some negotiating that needs to be done.  According to the “literature” I am supposed to firmly and with sharp tone say “NO!” and remove you from my breast.  When I first read this (in preparation for the days of teething) I naively wondered if I would be able to muster such a tone with my precious little darling. I assure you that the firmness and the sharpness of my tone have not been a problem, as they occur as an automatic reflex whenever you CHOMP DOWN ON MY NIPPLE WITH YOUR SNAGGLETOOTH DAGGER OF DEATH! My tonality is not the problem. The problem is your reaction, which is consistently a very large snaggletoothy grin. As if to say with great eloquence and clarity, “tonality message NOT received.” You seem neither startled nor dissuaded. Hmmmm….Still working on this one.

FEET:

You have officially discovered your feet.  The first few times I helped you to grab them while you were on your changing table, and you were like, “Oh my God! What are these things….and can I..……get them to my mouth…….(grunt grunt)…… Hmmm….not quite yet, but definitely an intriguing and worthwhile life mission.  I will continue to strive towards this worthy goal.”  Now that you have perfected the “grabbing your feet on your own” skill, you like to grab them both at the same time and grunt as you rock back and forth (Perhaps in an attempt to roll over? If so, an excellent segue to the next bullet point).  This of course is unreasonably entertaining to your father and myself, which I suppose is to be expected of new parents. You have mad foot grabbing skills little one.

ROLLING OVER:

However, the “rolling over skills,” need a bit of work.  You are SO CLOSE!  So close that every day I think to myself, “Today is the day!”  But I have been thinking that “today will be the day” every day for several weeks.  So maybe today won’t be the day, but SOON (and probably followed by an impressive display of fireworks & an award winning routine performed by the squad of professional cheerleaders that I have waiting on-call)!  I have even made you watch YouTube videos of babies rolling over, in a blatant attempt to motivate and inspire you – but so far, the efforts have been for naught.  In your defense, you really don’t spend a great deal of time on the floor.  I try to be a good Mommy and make sure that you get a little floor time every day, but our two rambunctious puppies make it a little bit hard for you to spend a lot of time just hanging out on the floor.  I am thinking that teaching yourself to roll over requires just the right combination of opportunity, practice, & frustration, which will then manifest itself in motivation & action (or maybe, I have just thought about this TOO MUCH, and you will roll over when you are DAMN WELL READY!). Whatever the case, it may require a little more “alone time” on the floor.  Coincidentally, that is what you are doing right now, as I write this.  Chilling out on your blanket next to the couch.  Perhaps TODAY IS THE DAY!

Love,

Mommy